“New Year’s postcards (‘Nengajo’ in Japanese) will go on sale soon. But with the postal charge being raised, do you think fewer people will actually send them?
“We hear that more and more people have
stopped sending Nengajo in the last few years. What do you think are the
reasons for that?”
A couple of weeks ago, I got a phone call
from a TV station asking these questions.
Having published a book on the practice of
sending Nengajo (and stopping the practice) among senior citizens, I do get
quite a few requests for interviews as a “Nengajo expert.”
Every time I get such inquiries, I would
talk about the very fundamental question of “Why we send Nengajo.”
It is one way to catch up with people you
care about but don’t get to see often anymore. You can send it if you like to
stay in touch with them, and stop it if you see no need.
“I must send Nengajo because it’s the right
thing to do.” Thinking like that only makes you feel exhausted and more
burdened.
In particular, if you are an older adult,
the chances are that you have fewer work-related obligatory relationships. You are
free to send Nengajo only to those you like to stay in touch with and let them
know you truly care.
There are no definite ways to stay
connected. You can use a postcard, email, communication apps, etc., depending
on the relationship you have with the other person.
Another tip I would give is: “Start by
thinking about the relationships that are important to you right now.”
I have learned this idea from Mr. A, who has
stopped sending Nengajo since his retirement.
The decision was made as Mr. A sorted
through business cards before the retirement. He found that around 60% of the people
he had sent Nengajo to were connected only through work. With the rest of them,
including friends from his school day, he stayed in touch online.
“Well, actually, I still send hand-written
Nengajo to three people who aren’t familiar with online communication: my
former teacher who now lives in a care facility and two of my former
supervisors in their 80s who helped me at work.”
“My supervisors’ social networks must be
shrinking considering their ages. That gives me even more reason to show them
my gratitude and a sense of connection, even through a small thing like Nengajo.”
When he told me that, what came to my
imaginative mind was a lonely man, barely capable of walking, looking at Mr. A’s
Nengajo with a big smile…
I couldn't help praising Mr. A and almost
said, “You're so sweet! I admire you!” But right before that, he made a
confession:
“To tell you the truth, it’s more to
satisfy myself. I keep doing this because imagining their smiles makes me
happy.”
That’s so true. As Mr. A grows older, he
too loses connection with society. If sending Nengajo allows him to feel
connected and share joy, that’s a wonderful thing to do.
Sending greeting cards at the end of the
year is also common in other countries, and some research has shown that it can
be an annoyance and source of stress.
But if sending cards can bring joy to both
someone you care about and yourself, then you can call it an extremely
productive activity, don’t you think?
<Reference>
Sawaoka, S. (2019). Kokai Shinai Nengajo
Shukatsu no Susume (Regret-Free Updating of Your New Year’s Postcard
Routine). Tokyo: Canaria Communications.
Shino Sawaoka
Associate Professor,
Dept. of Health Management,
Tokai University
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