Supporting my fav seniors #4 Being Productive Can Take Many Forms

 “My 90-year-old mom lived in a care home, and she was losing strength and energy. So I asked her if there’s anything she’d like to do. What do you think she said?”

I was asked this question by Ms. C, the representative of an organization helping people find Ikigai (meaning and purposes of life), who also provided support for her mother.

 

What came to my mind was the image of my grandfather a few days before he passed away, mumbling “I want to eat eel at the XX restaurant in Nihonbashi.”

It turned out that Ms. C also expected a similar response like “I want to eat my favorite XX.”

 

“But I was wrong. She quietly said, ‘I want to work’.”

Ms. C told me that such conversations with her mother had led her to develop a place for people to stay productive as they age. I nodded in total agreement, but…

 

This conversation also reminded me of the words by a participant in an Ikigai class I taught; it was a woman in her late 70s.

She whispered to me: “Well, do we really need to stay active and energetic? If you put it that way, I kind of feel pressured and pain.”

 

At that moment, I realized how inconsiderate I was, making her life difficult without knowing it.

Being productive or having Ikigai shouldn’t be just about continuing to work, being a super-volunteer, or serving as a community leader….

“The way to stay active and energetic can be different for each person. If you can share a little bit of what you like and enjoy with people around you, that should be enough.” I explained to the woman like this, and she went home with a smile…

But since then, I have put even more emphasis on the diversity of productivity when explaining the concept to people: Being productive can take many forms, and it doesn’t mean one is better than the others.

 

Come to think of it, eating eel may not have been what my grandfather wanted to do at the end. Perhaps, his last wish was to take his grandchildren and children to his favorite restaurant and make them happy.

“I want to share my favorite with my loved ones.” That may have been the true message in his last words “I want to eat eel at the XX restaurant in Nihonbashi.”

 

Now, I do understand my grandfather a little better.

What if I had been able to read his mind back then? Would we have had a different conversation? I reflect on what happened 30 years ago every day.

Shino Sawaoka

Associate Professor,

Dept. of Health Management,

Tokai University 

zt1864@tokai.ac.jp

https://www.tokai-kenko.ac/