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推し活とプロダクティブ#9 「ではない役割」とプロダクティブ

うちの母に認知症の症状がではじめてから2年以上。

振り返ってみると、「あれっ?」が増え始めたときの方が、今より辛かった気がしている。

 

あの時は、老年学の研究者であり認知症になった当事者や家族に会う機会が少なくない自分の知識や経験値が本当に煩わしかった。

だって、他の家族よりも早めに兆候に気づいてしまい、一人で鬱々としないといけなかったから。

 

あの頃、父をはじめとする家族も本人にとっても、認知症はどこか他人事な話。

ワタシは、そうかもしれない、いや、気のせい、この繰り返しで、寝る前にはひたすらに、そうでないことを夜空に祈っていた。

 

いや、そうであることがわかっていたからこそ、なにかにすがりたかったのかもしれない。

そんなワタシの鬱々を変えたのが、仕事で関わる認知症になっても住み続けられるまちをつくるための勉強会。

 

勉強会には認知症が重くなりつつある奥さんの介護をする男性Mさんも参加していて、いつも大事なメッセージを発信してくださっていた。

あの頃のワタシにズシンと刺さったのが、「自分一人じゃ無理、周りの人に知ってもらわないとダメ。今は、隠すのではなく、近所にも伝えている」という言葉。

 

認めたくなかったし、周りも絶対知られたくなくて、遠くの病院に通い、マンションのエレベーターでもなるべく近所と一緒にならないようにしていたMさん。

ある日、奥さんがふらっと出て行って、半日後に高速道路を歩く姿を発見されるまでの辛さ、後悔から学んだのが、認めて周囲に伝えることの大事さだったとのこと。

 

そこからかな、うちの母の今を受け止め、家族が受け入れるための働きかけに目が向く様になったのは。

2年経った今、まだ父から「やっぱり認知症なのかな」という絞り出す様な叫びを聴くこともあるのだけれど

 

今のワタシは、そんな父に、認知症の家族をケアする夫ではない何か、介護者ではない役割を確保することに目が向いていたりする。

これもMさんの教えで、「週一回!数時間の仲間との農作業があって、近所に作物をあげたら喜ばれて、そんな時間があるから奥さんに向き合える」とのこと。

 

かくいうワタシも、子どもが生まれてすぐ、子育てだけになって、◯◯ちゃんのママと呼ばれるだけの日々はキツかった。

子育てよりも先が読めない介護、◯◯さんの介護者「ではない役割」をもてるための支えも大切だな〜と、改めて考える毎日。


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東海大学健康学部健康マネジメント学科
ウェルビーイングカレッジ
澤岡詩野(SHINO SAWAOKA

jzt1864@tokai.ac.jp
健康学部公式サイト:https://www.tokai-kenko.ac/
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