スキップしてメイン コンテンツに移動

Let’s Think About Life with Dementia #2 Living Alone with Dementia

 I feel encouraged every time I listen to people who continue to live alone even after being diagnosed with dementia, making creative adjustments every day. They also remind me that I myself may live alone and develop dementia someday. If that happens, what kind of challenges will I face in everyday life? What kind of creative ways and support will help me keep living the life in the way I like? As I think about these questions, stories by people with dementia give me hope and insight.

 

In reality, however, people with dementia tend to have fewer options in their lives, thinking like “They can’t do it because of dementia” and “There is nothing they can do about it.” The Basic Act on Dementia to Promote an Inclusive Society, enacted in 2024, stipulates that people with dementia should be able to enjoy their fundamental human rights, which we take for granted. The need for this provision to be included in the law reflects how often people’s wishes do not come true just because they have dementia.

 

It is also true that continuing to live alone is not always the best way to go. But moving from home to an institution is often taken negatively. By respecting the lives and experiences people have built up over the years, we can enable them to enjoy their lives in their own ways in a new environment as well. I have learned that from professionals dedicating themselves to supporting people with dementia. That is why it is critical that we keep asking not only “where to live” but also “how to live” for care in the future.

 

As I discussed these ideas with Ms. Kubota, my co-author, we came to the realization that we shouldn’t keep what we have learned from people with dementia and professionals to ourselves: We should share these with many people.

 

Last month, we published a book titled “Let’s Think About ‘Life’ of Older People with Dementia Who Live Alone.” In this book, we have a specific idea about the word “life.” It is more than what we do every day. It is a multifaceted concept that encompasses many different elements, including physical life, the way we live, values, and connections. We chose this word as a viewpoint to keep supporting people’s own lives even after they develop dementia.

 

This book started with very simple questions:

·         What are some thoughts and feelings as they continue to live alone?

·         When does living alone become difficult?

·         What challenges are they likely to face in everyday life?

·         What can be done so that they can continue their current lifestyles as long as possible?

 

As we explored answers to these questions, we found what is important: Instead of easily giving up “because” they have dementia or live alone, the person and their supporters can work together to find creative solutions and put them into practice in everyday life as they face challenges “even when” they have dementia or live alone. Should they find it difficult to keep living alone, they can come to terms with the situation at a new place and regain their own lives.

 

Through interviews with older people with dementia who live alone, we have illustrated their everyday lives from their own viewpoints.

 

Ms. Tomiko (pseudonym), whom Ms. Kubota interviewed, is in her 80s. She had been married for many years, but being childless and widowed, she has lived by herself for some time. When she was young, she put up with and served her dominating husband who demanded total obedience. Living by herself, she now enjoys peaceful days in her old house looking at the garden. “No more fighting or scolding. It’s an easy life,” says Tomiko with a smile. But it doesn’t necessarily mean she has no problems. One day, a sales person came to her house unexpectedly, asking her to let him look at the ceiling. She chased him away but later had a little trouble with a neighbor over how she handled the situation.

 

According to Tomiko, “Despite these problems and a modest lifestyle, I still prefer this life with this garden.” Now that she no longer needs to tolerate her husband, she enjoys herself every day, while realizing her forgetfulness and aging, by welcoming home helpers and making creative adjustments where needed. Her story helped us understand how she has chosen to live by herself with dementia.

 

In addition to stories of people with dementia, this book also carefully outlines how living alone can become difficult and what challenges they are likely to face in daily life. Some challenges are also true for many older people, such as difficulty managing personal health and hygiene, life-threatening events, financial hardship, and problems with personal relationships. But for people with dementia who live alone, these challenges tend to become more complex and serious. Even then, while they are “torn between continuing and giving up,” as shown in the book subtitle, I believe they can continue to enjoy their lives in the ways they like as long as possible. It can be done through creative adjustments and interactions by the people and those around them, as well as effective use of local resources and services.

 

Anyone can develop dementia and is likely to live alone when that happens. To continue the lifestyles we like in those situations, it is essential that we start preparing now, physically and mentally. I hope this book can help many people revisit how they lead their own lives, how they relate to people close to them, and what their communities should look like.


 


Taeko Nakashima

Graduate School of Health and Social Services Management

Nihon Fukushi University

https://www.nfu.ne.jp/ (in Japanese)

コメント

コメントを投稿

このブログの人気の投稿

Supporting my fav seniors #4 Being Productive Can Take Many Forms

 “My 90-year-old mom lived in a care home, and she was losing strength and energy. So I asked her if there’s anything she’d like to do. What do you think she said?” I was asked this question by Ms. C, the representative of an organization helping people find Ikigai (meaning and purposes of life), who also provided support for her mother.   What came to my mind was the image of my grandfather a few days before he passed away, mumbling “I want to eat eel at the XX restaurant in Nihonbashi.” It turned out that Ms. C also expected a similar response like “I want to eat my favorite XX.”   “But I was wrong. She quietly said, ‘I want to work’.” Ms. C told me that such conversations with her mother had led her to develop a place for people to stay productive as they age. I nodded in total agreement, but…   This conversation also reminded me of the words by a participant in an Ikigai class I taught; it was a woman in her late 70s. She whispered to me: “Wel...
コメントを投稿
続きを読む

推し活とプロダクティブ#5 　　　　一年の「コドク」とプロダクティブ

「わたしね、この時期があまり好きじゃないの、だって一年で 1 番コドクを感じるから」 毎年、年末に近づくと思い出すのがこの言葉。   言葉の主は、リーダーとまではいかないけれど、体操グループでいつも楽しそうな雰囲気で場を盛り上げる M さん。 10 年以上前にご主人を看取り、今は、体操グループ以外にも色々な活動に参加するアクティブな 80 代。   お子さんの話はあまり聴いたことがないのだけれど、遠くに住んでいるのか、すれ違いがあるのか、あまり行き来はない様子。 それを補うわけではないけれど、「日常で頼れるのは近くの仲間」というのが一人暮らしを続けるための M さんの持論。   ゆるやかに多様な 100 のつながりを自分の周りにつくることが大事。 誰かの 100 のつながりの百分の一になることも大事という百人力の研究をしているワタシにとって M さんはお手本の様な人なのだけど … 。   そんな M さんの口から一年のコドクの話をうかがった時には、正直なところ、かなりビックリした。 いつも居場所になっているコミュニティスペースはお休み、仲間もそれぞれのお家の行事で忙しくて誘いづらい、というのがコドクの原因。   街を歩けばクリスマスやお正月ムード、テレビを観れば里帰りに新幹線を待つ家族の楽しそうなインタビュー。 せめてもとおせちの黒豆を煮たのだけど、食べているうちに、あっ、私、一人なんだ … と悲しくなった … とポツリ。   確かに、地域のサロンなどをやっている人も子ども家族が来たりで、年末年始はほとんどの場が活動をお休みするわけで。 遠慮と、ひとりぼっちを知られたくないという多少の見栄もあって、仲間への電話も LINE も控えてしまったり。   そんな M さんのお話から考えはじめたのが、楽しいはずの年末年始に毎年のように襲ってくるコドクの和らげ方。 だって、日本もこれだけひとり暮らしが増えていて、誰もが直面する可能性のある課題だから。   たかだか 1 〜２週間の話だけれど、老いを感じることが増える毎日のなかで、毎年のように繰り返される負の影響はかなりなもの。 多分、ひとりでずっと生き...
コメントを投稿
続きを読む

推し活とプロダクティブ#4　　　　　　　　　　 プロダクティブは「多様」

「施設に入っていた 90 歳の母、身体も弱ってきて、元気もなくなっていたのね。なにかしたいことあるって聞いたら、なんて答えたと思う？」 こんな問いをしてきたのは、生きがいづくりを応援する活動団体の代表でもあり、ご自身のお母様をサポートする C さん。   私の頭に浮かんだのは、「日本橋〇〇のうなぎが食べたい」と亡くなる数日前に呟いた祖父の姿。 C さんも同じだったようで、「大好物の ◾️◾️ が食べたい」なんて答えが返ってくると思っていらしたとのこと。   「でもね、違ったの。働きたいって、ポツリと呟いたの」 そんなお母様とのやり取りから、 C さんは、歳を重ねても可能な限り長くプロダクティブでいられる場づくりに取り組むようなったとのお話をうかがい、大いに頷いた私だったのですが … 。   ふと、思い出したのが、生きがいづくりの講座で講演した際に聴こえてきた受講者からの言葉。 「ねえ、イキイキしないとダメなの？そう言われると、なんだか辛い … 」と小さな声で私に呟いたのは 70 代後半の女性。   その瞬間に感じたのは、無意識に生きづらさを生み出してしまった自分の配慮のなさ。 プロダクティブや生きがいは、仕事して働き続けることやスーパーボランティアや地域のリーダーになることだけではないはずなのに … 。   その女性には、自分の楽しいことや好きなことを周りに少しシェアする位でよくて、イキイキの姿は人それぞれでよいことをご説明させて頂き、笑顔で帰っていただのだけれど … 。 それ以来、気をつけすぎる位に丁寧にお伝えしているのは、プロダクティブのあり方は多様で、そこに優劣はないということ。   今考えると、最期を迎える前の祖父も、鰻が食べたかったのではなく、多分、孫や子どもを自分の贔屓の店に連れて行って喜ばせたかったのかもしれない 大事な誰かに好きをシェアしたい、そんな祖父の想いが詰まった言葉が、「日本橋の〇〇のうなぎが食べたい」だったのかな … 。   今なら少しわかる、祖父の気持ち。 あの時に理解できていたら、もう少し違う会話ができたのかな … と、 30 年前を振り返る毎日です。     -...
コメントを投稿
続きを読む