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Let’s Think About Life with Dementia #2 Living Alone with Dementia


 
I feel encouraged every time I listen to people who continue to live alone even after being diagnosed with dementia,
making creative adjustments every day. They also remind me that I myself may live alone and develop dementia someday. If that happens, what kind of challenges will I face in everyday life? What kind of creative ways and support will help me keep living the life in the way I like? As I think about these questions, stories by people with dementia give me hope and insight.

 

In reality, however, people with dementia tend to have fewer options in their lives, thinking like “They can’t do it because of dementia” and “There is nothing they can do about it.” The Basic Act on Dementia to Promote an Inclusive Society, enacted in 2024, stipulates that people with dementia should be able to enjoy their fundamental human rights, which we take for granted. The need for this provision to be included in the law reflects how often people’s wishes do not come true just because they have dementia.

 

It is also true that continuing to live alone is not always the best way to go. But moving from home to an institution is often taken negatively. By respecting the lives and experiences people have built up over the years, we can enable them to enjoy their lives in their own ways in a new environment as well. I have learned that from professionals dedicating themselves to supporting people with dementia. That is why it is critical that we keep asking not only “where to live” but also “how to live” for care in the future.

 

As I discussed these ideas with Ms. Kubota, my co-author, we came to the realization that we shouldn’t keep what we have learned from people with dementia and professionals to ourselves: We should share these with many people.

 

Last month, we published a book titled “Let’s Think About ‘Life’ of Older People with Dementia Who Live Alone.” In this book, we have a specific idea about the word “life.” It is more than what we do every day. It is a multifaceted concept that encompasses many different elements, including physical life, the way we live, values, and connections. We chose this word as a viewpoint to keep supporting people’s own lives even after they develop dementia.

 

This book started with very simple questions:

·         What are some thoughts and feelings as they continue to live alone?

·         When does living alone become difficult?

·         What challenges are they likely to face in everyday life?

·         What can be done so that they can continue their current lifestyles as long as possible?

 

As we explored answers to these questions, we found what is important: Instead of easily giving up “because” they have dementia or live alone, the person and their supporters can work together to find creative solutions and put them into practice in everyday life as they face challenges “even when” they have dementia or live alone. Should they find it difficult to keep living alone, they can come to terms with the situation at a new place and regain their own lives.

 

Through interviews with older people with dementia who live alone, we have illustrated their everyday lives from their own viewpoints.

 

Ms. Tomiko (pseudonym), whom Ms. Kubota interviewed, is in her 80s. She had been married for many years, but being childless and widowed, she has lived by herself for some time. When she was young, she put up with and served her dominating husband who demanded total obedience. Living by herself, she now enjoys peaceful days in her old house looking at the garden. “No more fighting or scolding. It’s an easy life,” says Tomiko with a smile. But it doesn’t necessarily mean she has no problems. One day, a sales person came to her house unexpectedly, asking her to let him look at the ceiling. She chased him away but later had a little trouble with a neighbor over how she handled the situation.

 

According to Tomiko, “Despite these problems and a modest lifestyle, I still prefer this life with this garden.” Now that she no longer needs to tolerate her husband, she enjoys herself every day, while realizing her forgetfulness and aging, by welcoming home helpers and making creative adjustments where needed. Her story helped us understand how she has chosen to live by herself with dementia.

 

In addition to stories of people with dementia, this book also carefully outlines how living alone can become difficult and what challenges they are likely to face in daily life. Some challenges are also true for many older people, such as difficulty managing personal health and hygiene, life-threatening events, financial hardship, and problems with personal relationships. But for people with dementia who live alone, these challenges tend to become more complex and serious. Even then, while they are “torn between continuing and giving up,” as shown in the book subtitle, I believe they can continue to enjoy their lives in the ways they like as long as possible. It can be done through creative adjustments and interactions by the people and those around them, as well as effective use of local resources and services.

 

Anyone can develop dementia and is likely to live alone when that happens. To continue the lifestyles we like in those situations, it is essential that we start preparing now, physically and mentally. I hope this book can help many people revisit how they lead their own lives, how they relate to people close to them, and what their communities should look like.


 




Taeko Nakashima

Faculty of Health Management Department of Social Health and Business Management

Nihon Fukushi University

https://www.nfu.ne.jp/ (in Japanese)



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