Supporting my fav seniors #17 Getting a little revenge with Japanese New Year cuisine “Osechi Ryori”

 Mrs. A: “I should start buying ingredients for Osechi Ryori pretty soon. Stores must be crowded next weekend, and I’d rather avoid that.”

Mrs. B: “Wow, you’re making Osechi yourself? That’s a lot of work to do. How nice of you! It that because you’re having a family gathering?”

 

Mrs. A: “No, we aren’t getting together. But my husband now has no one to visit and enjoy Osechi together for New Year. So I kind of feel sorry for him.”

Mrs. B: “But it sounds like life is much easier now. You no longer need to visit your husband’s parents’ house, helping prepare Osechi and acting as “good daughter-in-law” every minute. What a relief! It must feel as if you were in heaven.”

 

I overheard this conversation with big laughs between two women, probably in their mid-70s, at the sauna of a local gym. They went on and on, talking about how painful it had been as daughter-in-law to visit the husband’s parents’ house for New Year.

 

While listening to this conversation, I noticed that Mrs. A’s words and facial expressions didn’t match.

Her husband’s parents had passed away, meaning no more New Year family gathering on his side. She was saying it’s a pain in the neck to prepare Osechi for the husband, who no longer had a place to visit for New Year. But I could see a bit of happiness on her face.

 

The ladies kept talking about how hard it had been to act as “good daughter-in-law” at their husband’s parents’ house, and how they would like to praise themselves for the 40 years of hard work. As I listened to this conversation, I started thinking about what’s behind the mismatch between Mrs. A’s talk and face.

Maybe, her husband had been totally dependent on his family for social life since the retirement, while Mrs. A had been expanding her own social network since their children grew up and became independent.

 

When the husband’s parents were alive, Mrs. A needed to visit their house, help prepare Osechi, and behave herself as a proper daughter-in-law, feeling irritated with the husband being totally relaxed at his home sweet home, doing nothing but drinking.

But now, she’s the one enjoying life while the husband stays at home alone every day. Could this change have made her smile a bit, feeling something similar to getting revenge?

 

Now that she has more time and feels more relaxed at the end of this year, she may be taking time to prepare beautiful Osechi and serve it to the husband on New Year’s Day, but with a slight sense of superiority.

Preparing Osechi for someone is a wonderful productive activity, but there may be a complex mix of emotions behind the delicious dishes. Mrs. A’s husband may be tasting a touch of bitter revenge in the sweet omelet served in Osechi.

Shino Sawaoka

Associate Professor,

Dept. of Health Management,

Tokai University 

jzt1864@tokai.ac.jp

https://www.tokai-kenko.ac/